


Who You've Always Been

by Tremble



Series: 10,000 Indrid & Duck Oneshots [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Duck Newton is Autistic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Ep 20, Trans Male Character, also duck is def going through a midlife crisis, duck newton is trans, indrid doesnt always know whats going on but hes trying his hardest, mundane boy duck newton!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 18:02:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17391074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tremble/pseuds/Tremble
Summary: Duck is a normal guy now and that's a huge deal when he use to be the chosen one.Thankfully, Indrid isn't going to let him go through that alone.





	Who You've Always Been

**Author's Note:**

> this new ep though. . . duck is having a tough week yall
> 
> also yeah no beta read we die like men version 2 uuh also my bad its so short its like. .. 2am and I just did it all in a sitting

“Duck,” Indrid sighed, “Are you sure there’s nothing you want to talk about.”

 

Indrid stood with his arms crossed in the middle of Ducks apartment, and looked him over once again. He almost didn’t believe this future he saw beforehand and he still doesn’t quite believe what he’s looking at.

 

“Yeah i’m sure. What’s there to talk about anything, I am _perfectly_ fine.” Duck was standing by the door, holding a brightly painted skateboard with a matching helmet on his head.

 

Indrid pinched the bridge of his nose, “Duck. I love you, please come back and sit down with me.”

 

“I just need to grab something at the store real quick, what’s the issue?” Duck leaned with his back against the door, putting one foot flat against it like he use to in his high school hallways.

 

Gesturing to Ducks whole. . . ensemble Indrid replies, “The skateboard? The helmet? You’re wearing your old letterman jacket and neon pink pants- and _yes_ , I know you’re going to say Jake gave them to you because he bought the wrong size, but please. Something is going on, just please tell me.”

 

“What do you want me to say? Didn’t you see this coming!” Duck walked to his kitchen, more out of a need to pace than anything else, “Didn’t you know this was going to happen? I'm just your average guy with a skateboard! There's nothing else to it! I don’t know what i’m suppose to do here, I don’t know anything! I thought I knew- I thought a lot of things but apparently not! Maybe, I’m going to go out there to the store and die! Who knows right? Maybe a- fuck, maybe a freak accident car will plow right over me and I need to wear a fucking helmet because i’m going to crash onto the ground and die a boring stupid death because that’s all I got now. Who-”

 

 **“Even cares?”** Indrid interrupts Duck, “I do. _I care_ and Aubrey, Ned, Jake, Dani, Juno- they all care about you too. I don’t know what’s wrong, Duck. I don’t know everything. I know how much it seems like I do, but I don’t. I worry about you. I saw this, and I see so many things. I see you falling apart and I see you pushing everybody away. I only have the vaguest possible idea and quite frankly- i’m having trouble making sense of it all. Please, talk to me.”

 

“ _Why?_ I’m nothing special. I- I’m just Duck. I don’t got shit anymore! I’m just normal ordinary human Duck and I’m nothing. I can’t do anything, for anybody! You know what I did last night? I went outside to throw out the trash and I _tripped_ over a rock. It _hurt_ like hell. Fucking- I thought I broke my hand. I can’t even- shit. I have to go to work on a shitty skateboard now!”

 

Indrid remains collected in the face of Ducks outburst, knowing he needs to release some of those emotions he’s been bottling up, “Everybody trips, I can’t even avoid falling once or twice. It is perfectly alright that you- wait. You could use a car. You don’t need to travel around everywhere on a skateboard. . .”

 

“I’m gay Indrid!” Duck takes the helmet off of his head and throws it to the other room, “I can’t drive, but that’s besides the point. The point is that I’m just anybody now! I can’t- I don’t know what-” Indrid moves over to give him a hug before he starts crying, “What do I do? I’m nothing now. You- you have your thing and Aubrey has magic. I-I can’t do shit, I’ll die. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m useless, I can only get in the way like this.

 

“I tried to be normal my whole life- I never was. I tried to be a normal girl like my family thought I was. I- I tried to be a normal kid. I thought something was wrong with me! I pushed it all away, just like this bullshit. Then, I find out i’m different. I’m trans and I’m autistic; not broken. Now i'm okay with it- happy with it. I found out that I was this chosen one with- with this big destiny to fulfil and I pushed it so far back I didn't even think it was _real_. Years later, here I am. I finally started listening to this destiny calling I had. I started embracing it and using my abilities, _saving people_ \- but they’re gone now. All of them, I can't do shit. 

 

"Now that- now that i’m ready I lost it an-and I’m going to lose you all because I can't do shit to save anything. I cant even fucking save myself anymore. I realized how fucked this is. Ned has all his shit, I have- what, a broken fucking sword. And you- you’re brilliant and amazing. Me? I have nothing now. I’m just- fucking normal ass Duck and I-"

 

“ **And I** ,am going to stop you right there,” Indrid leads him over to sit down and kisses his cheek. “You Duck, you are amazing. I don’t care that you aren’t the chosen one anymore. You don’t need to have those abilities to be worth it. You’re worth it Duck, because of who you are. I don’t want to see you beat yourself up about it. I fell in love _with you_ because I _love you_. Your friends won’t think less of you either, trust me. You are Duck. You're the one that's passionate about what you love; about this forest, and the people you love. You are the one that saved Billy, you helped with the copper nails and you saved my life knowing the cost. You took in your cat that didn't have a home. You are so good and that has nothing to do with being chosen or a normal person.

 

“What I’m really trying to say here is that you don’t have to be this, All-mighty Duck Newton. Being chosen had nothing to do with you. It gave you some physical help, sure but that’s it. It didn’t change who you are as a person to become anything better or noble. You are a hero and always were, even if you don’t feel like one. You’ve changed so many lives and quite literally saved many lives as well. And I don’t foresee that changing, that’s your accomplishment and a title can’t take that away from you. You have always been Duck and you always will be, I would never want anything else.

 

“I know this is a lot to go through, but don’t keep it to yourself like that alright? We can work out a new game plan for the future abominations that doesn’t involve you dying. A helmet isn’t so bad of an idea if it makes you feel better and I- uh can teach to do drive if you’d like? I’m with you every step of the way, I want you to know that.”

 

Duck laid his head on Indrids shoulder as he said his mini speech, completely defeated and mentally exhausted. “Thanks babe, that means a lot to hear. Also uh- about how I was acting earlier. I want to-”

 

Indrid stops him again, “Don’t even think about apologizing. You aren’t causing any trouble for me. You’re going through a lot right now and you are allowed to express your emotions. it might help to talk through everything you’re feeling later. When you’re a bit better emotionally, now will only overwhelm you further.”

 

Duck pushes up Indrids glasses slightly to look into those beautiful red eyes and gives him another kiss, "I love you so fucking much, but you’re too good to me.”

 

Indrid grins and holds onto him, “Juno is going to corner you when you to go the store and ask about your,” he makes quotation marks with his fingers, “mid-life crisis.”

 

“Awe shit!” Duck curses, “Damn it, that's right. I never made it to the store!”

 

“We don’t need it right now,” The devilish grin on Indrids face somehow grows wider, showing far too many teeth than a human should have “Instead we can talk about that ‘Mothman Is My Boyfriend’ hoodie you were going to accidentally pull out in front of me.”

 

_“Fuck!”_

 


End file.
